As the above shows, me=lame.
But I'm so bored, dad's overseas, it's 1.48am, and the whole house is asleep. Haven't blogged in years, and found this test pretty quirky, for a half asleep me to actually notice it :P
I seriously don't feel motivated at all for O levels. I mean, look around me, everyone in EC classes and everything are studying so hard, aiming for the best, and me? Sitting at home, hogging the computer and acting like a zombie for the rest of the day, eyes simply glued to meaningless computer games.
Sometimes I ask myself, is this worth it? Is mugging definitely going to get me straight 'A's? I don't believe so. Besides, I have absolutely no worries about my future, as though I'm contented with being like this, a drone, for the rest of my life. I need to get up, get out, do something, take charge of myself, but I don't. Get panic attacks sometimes, when I see how much I have uncompleted, but it just slips away, as instantly as it comes :(
WAKE ME UP!
And besides, please, give my lumpy brains, even though they're definitely not the best, to my friends. They've worked so much harder than me, yet they don't get the results they want, I actually feel guilty. They deserve A1s and A2s, as much as, if not much more, than me. Oh why, why not let someone else get my prelim results. They're not good, but still, extremely exceeded my expectations and somehow I don't feel joyful, I just can't, I feel weighed down by guilt. I know I DIDN'T study...
I don't want this life I'm living, it's too good, too happy, it's really not what I deserve. Some poor soul out there must be clamouring for a second chance to live, a second chance to dream, a second chance to make a difference to the world. I want to give it to them. If only there was a way.
This is getting depressing, hehh, just leave my dumb thoughts alone if you happen to come across it. As my blog says, keep away, you don't need to hear me whine. If you did, I'm sorry, just don't bring it up.
*hearts four hope* You've brought a difference to my life, made it more interesting, more exciting and gave me a different opinion on the world. But I REALLY DON'T DESERVE THIS thank you
+ luv bambi!
